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Saturday 4 January 2014

My ex-husband slept with own daughter

Culled from Punch

It was a whirlwind romance when 48-year-old Bamidele Mustapha engaged and married his now 30-year-old ex-wife, Patience Wilfred, six years ago. One could never have imagined the explosive allegations going back and forth between them now.
The marriage between Wilfred, a woman from Akwa Ibom State and the Oyo State-born Mustapha was dissolved by a customary court in Lagos in July, 2013.
But peace has yet to reign between the two as the young woman spent more than one month languishing at the Kirikiri Female Prison, Lagos after she was remanded by a court.

She came back from her detention, only to approach the Lagos State Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation for redress as she alleged that Mustapha had bribed some police men at the Idimu Area Command to charge her to court on spurious allegations.

She said, "When my husband travelled to Malaysia in 2012, I was in charge of my two step-children. I also have two children for him and was pregnant at the time. His 28-year-old daughter, Titilayo, a girl he had with another woman when he was young, had previously left home but she came back to live with us at the time.

"One of my step-daughters sustained an injury one day and I instructed Titilayo to help use warm water to treat the leg. I had no idea that because of her hatred for the girl, she had made the water very hot. The girl's leg became affected by the water.
"When my husband came back from Malaysia, he said I was the one responsible, even though the girl had said that her elder step-sister inflicted the injury on her."

The fair-complexioned woman said she loved her husband and some discoveries she made forced her to embark on many days of prayer and fasting so that he could be delivered.

She was evasive when this correspondent enquired what those discoveries were. She alleged she was being persecuted because of those discoveries. Wilfred later claimed that before Titilayo left home years ago, she had alleged that her father was sexually abusing her, which made relations send her back to her mother's families.

"When my husband came back from Malaysia, I started noticing things that pointed to the fact that they were having sexual relationship. But I did not confirm until one morning when I went to my husband's room and saw both of them naked.

"I screamed because it confirmed my fear. At that time, my husband had chased me out of his room. When he came back from his trip, he said I was the one that made him lose his job in Malaysia. He said I injured his daughter's leg and maltreated his children. When he sent me packing from his room, Titilayo packed into the room. She used his towel and dressed up in his presence."

This correspondent asked why she decided to continue to stay in the house and why she did not report to family members, she said she had nowhere to go.

According to her, her husband took her to the police and asked her to choose between being prosecuted for the injury on her step-daughter's leg or divorce.

"I chose divorce even though I was carrying a three-week old baby at the time," she said.

After their divorce, the court directed Mustapha to pay N50,000 to her to resettle her, pay N10,000 monthly for the upkeep of her children and allow her to pack her belongings. The court added that the couple could approach a family court if there was controversy as to the custody of their children.

But their issues deteriorated in November last year when the police summoned Wilfred.
"The Investigation Police Officer handling the case at the Idimu Area Command summoned me that the area commander wanted to see me.

"But instead of allowing me to see the area commander, I was pushed into a waiting vehicle with a newborn in my arms. They pushed away my sister who attempted to follow us to know where they were taking us.

"They took me to a magistrate court,  I was accused of injuring my step-sister and I was remanded for one month and three days for something I knew nothing about. The police had already spoken to the child and she confirmed  that Titilayo was responsible.

I guess my husband must have paid handsomely to ensure they send me to jail."
The Director of the Esther Child Rights Foundation, Mrs. Esther Ogwu, who reported Wilfred's case at the ministry for action, said Wilfred's treatment amounted to abuse of the little child she was carrying.

"How could you rush a nursing mother to court and detain her for something she knew nothing about? That 10-month-old child was abused through his mother's detention. He was forcefully stopped from breast-feeding because he was not allowed to be with his mother in jail.

"The father is obviously using the police to punish his wife. She alleged that despite the customary court's judgement, the ex-husband seized her passport, phones and laptop."

On Thursday, this correspondent went in search of Mustapha. The man, who had his other children with him at the time, denied most of the allegations levied against him by his ex-wife.

Asked whether he truly sleeps with his first daughter, he said, "That is a big lie concocted by her. What evidence does she have? Let her produce her evidence."
Wilfred had told this correspondent she had no recording to back up her claim.
He was also asked if indeed Titilayo sleeps in his room but he did not deny that.

Mustapha said, "My ex-wife is fetish. When I got back from Malaysia, I was informed about her fetish activities like spraying liquids around the house. I had to ask all my children including the ones she had for me to sleep in my room.

"If she was planning to kill anyone, she should kill us all in one place."
One of Mustapha's children, Kunle, was instructed by his father to narrate what happened in his room some time ago.
 "I went to the toilet in the middle of the night. That same time, my step-mother went to the toilet as well but she left the door open. She told me to go and close the door. When I turned my back, I saw her spraying something around my room. I told my father the following day," the boy said.
Mustapha also showed this correspondent the badly burnt leg of his daughter which he claimed was caused by his ex-wife.
What happened to your leg, this correspondent asked the 10-year-old girl.
"My step-mother dipped my leg inside hot water," she answered.

Titilayo also denied allegations against her. "That woman is a liar. I never accused my father of sleeping with me because that has never happened. She injured the girl," she said.
Mustapha said his ex-wife was cooking up lies against him to destroy him.
"I decided to report at the police station because I was frustrated. She claimed I was a fraudster in Malaysia before I came back home. That is a lie. I was a cab driver; a job that is very lucrative there," he said.
Earlier on Thursday, Wilfred had recounted the treatment meted out to her by policemen at Idimu to this correspondent and members of the Esther Child Rights Foundation.

The Area Commander, Mr. Ibrahim Kaoje, did not seem to have heard about the case before, even though the IPO, Cpl. Seun Adebisi, who had allegedly taken her to court, had said his superior had requested for her.

 "I want every party in this case to be present in my office on Tuesday. Make sure the ex-husband is here. We will hear everybody out and know where to go then. I also need the case file," the area commander said.
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